Kitty Grrlz Knits & Spins’ Neighborhood

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
12.10.09

i have deja vu - sometimes to a creepy extent and i'm certain i dream these things. i rarely ever remember my dreams, so when i do, i take note. my aunt also has serious deja vu and i think these types of things run in families. 

i had a dream the other night about being all cutesy and kissy with a guy that wasn't matt. a dream is probably not the right term, but i get still pictures in my head of certain situations that are tied to feelings, so i know if it's a happy situation, a sad one, etc.

the picture i have in my head from the other night was me being face to face with a guy who was a little scruffy and had light hair and blue eyes...like bryan, the guy i'm going out with on saturday. for whatever reason, i remember saying something about how cute he is and there being smiling and sweetness and kisses. i suppose it could be anyone, but it definitely wasn't matt. these "pictures" always come back out of no where when the moment actually presents itself and i have that deja vu feeling.

am i trying to tell myself something?

 

it's -4 (yes, negative 4) with a -22 (yes, negative 22) windchill.

at least it'll be in the 20s tomorrow.

matt and i have written a couple e-mails back and forth. we're getting together next week wednesday for drinks. he says he has a nervous brick in his stomach - not quite sure why. i told him that i thought i was the one with the nervous brick in my stomach given that the situation we find ourselves in was not my idea.

i have no idea how he's feeling about me other than what he's told me - that he's been thinking about the last six weeks that we've been apart constantly since we just started e-mailing again...is he thinking that he has been content the last six months without me or that he's realized his life without me sucks? not sure. but i guess i'll find out.

in any case, seeing him will be really weird. it's been so long and the last time we were in front of eachother, he was walking out our front door and i was standing in the middle of the living room floor sobbing. we haven't communicated in any way other than letters and e-mails, so i haven't heard his voice in six weeks either.

*

in an effort to keep my options open - just in case matt has no interest in getting back with me - i've been dabbling in internet dating and i actually met a guy that i think is pretty cool.

his name is bryan - he's 29, 6' tall (i'm not fond of short guys because i'm kinda tall so i'm glad he's a good height), he is in sales for a wine distributor and was in ska bands back in the day, which is actually why i started talking to him - because i was in a ska band in high school. turns out that one of the guys that was in my band, was in two of his previous bands so we have a mutual friend.

we became facebook friends the other day and yesterday he started up a chat with me on facebook...we chatted for about 45 minutes. it was really good...he seems totally normal and we're into the same bars, we have the same sense of humor, he uses smiley faces, and we both hate talking on the phone. i know for a fact he has a car, a job and he has roommates so he has an apartment.

we made plans to get together saturday night to grab a drink or two. or three.

i'm not counting on bryan and i hitting it off AND matt wanting me back, but if that ended up being the case, i think i'd have a problem. i almost didn't want to get together with this guy until i met up with matt, but i didn't see the point in that. that would mean i'd be counting on matt to want me back and i've come to the conclusion that i'm fine either way...if he doesn't, i've already become fine with that because i've had to - if he does, then there's a lot of work that needs to be done and it would take a long time for this to become what is was.  

How many commercials are there about health care and money subsidies right now? I have seen so many commercials lately for things like social security disability benefits, free health care programs, and all kinds of things like that. I believe it is a sign of the times. There were never so many commercials about these things before. Between those commercials and the ones about drugs to help depression, they pretty much have a monopoly on many time slots.

How has technology’s constant presence affected your (or your child’s) education?
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Homeschooling is much more in-depth and efficient. Instead of saying "wait till we go to the library to look that up" when he comes up with questions, I can type in a few words online and BAM : information. He has seen a number of videos on how things are made, which supplements many shows we see on tv or things he thinks about on his own. There are interactive sites where he can see inside the body, through the galaxy, and really get into his schooling. It's awesome. I can do the same for myself! 

we're supposed to get like a foot of snow tomorrow.

i hope the weather man is wrong - or at least i hope it's mostly sleet and slush - because they made an announcement already that the office will be open and if we decide to call in, it's either unpaid or deducted from vacation time.

wonderful. wisconsin. winter.

This weekend was devoted to the loft bed that has been sitting in pieces around the bedroom and apartment. We've been sleeping on a mattress on the floor in an unfinished loft bed frame for about two or more months now. Quite the eyesore. I thought we would have gotten around to fixing up our bed a lot sooner than we had, but when you work a lot, many things suffer. Beds, social life, hygiene, sleep schedule, etc.

The bed was a whole lot of drama we just didn't want to deal with, I guess.
It was given to us. It's from Ikea, but Ikea doesn't make this design anymore.
And as luck would have it, we lost some important hardware that Ikea ALSO doesn't make anymore.
(We found that out halfway through constructing the bed, which is why we were sleeping in a frame.)

Anyway, we figured out another way to make things work.

And here you go:

Cats panting.

I didn't leave the house today.

What's your favorite thing about the holidays? Least favorite?

I can answer both questions with one answer:

When they are over.